Monday, May 21, 2012

Lizzie Warren's Thanksgiving Day Roast Turkey Stew

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Lizzie Warren's Thanksgiving Day Roast Turkey Stew

Substitute bull for turkey
1 whole chicken
1 can Spam
2 cups firewater
heap of dog chow (dry)
1/32 of a Turnip 1/32nd of a beet, 1/32nd of a parsnip, 1/32nd of a rutabega (hat-tip to James Taranto)
Native corn
8 slices forked tongue
1/2 cup sour grapes
Hot air
Hair of dog
Eye of Newt
1 stick Halvah
4 grains of salt

Lard crock-pot generously with pork. Set aside.
Cut chicken in half: keep left side, smear right with anything handy, then discard.
Slice bull thickly and pile very high
Pound table
Mix the rest of ingredients all together (discard grains of salt)
Cook in oven until half baked
Garnish with diverse selection of fruits and nuts

If serving company - throw the whole mess out and send to out to Whole Foods for real meal
(Tell guests recipe is from NY Times)
Serve with a good Jewish whine
Distribute to guests according to income
Send food bill to U.S. taxpayers
(and don't forget not to say grace)
Posted 2 days ago

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